Six weeks ago I gave birth to another beautiful boy. This pregnancy was difficult both physically and emotionally. Although I recovered from heart failure there was still a chance of my relapsing with this pregnancy. I became severely anemic and had pre-eclampsia with this pregnancy, but it was the mental and emotional stressors I was most concerned about.
At the beginning of your pregnancy when you go to your initial OB appointment the nurse asks a series of questions. The hardest questions for me has been those regarding my past pregnancies. Specifically, I dread the “What number pregnancy is this for you” question, which is usually followed by the medical professional asking me to recount each pregnancy’s outcome and when it occurred. By the day I gave birth and I’d been asked this question over 30 times by medical professionals alone. This question was not an easy one to answer and the follow up questions were even more difficult.I was surprised that nurses and doctors just didn’t or couldn’t pull up my medical history. As I recounted these events I remembered how I felt with each miscarriage and with the passing of Jacob. Beginning an OB appointment with a reminder that you’ve had so many losses adds undue stress. Towards the middle of this pregnancy I decided to make things a little easier for myself and carried around a list with information about each of my pregnancies including details about my miscarriages and infant losses. Putting it down on paper was difficult in itself, but it made doctor appointments and visits to L&D triage less stressful.
Another thing I did during this pregnancy was take care of myself mentally. Whether a woman or couple has suffered a loss or not, pregnancy is as mentally taxing as it is physically taxing. The physical is what everyone focuses on, but it’s so important to remember to take care of your mental well-being before and after a pregnancy. After the loss of Jacob I became vigilant in being aware of my mental health and was proactive. There was a time when I had both a therapist I talked to and I also utilized the MFLC (Military Family and Life Counselor) and was going to therapy twice a day. This time around I was just as proactive. I started talking to a counselor on a regular basis and started figuring out how I would handle various situations. Since I was super busy with family life and work I utilized tele-therapy. I would talk to my therapist during my afternoon commute, on lunch break, etc. With therapy I was able to come up with how I would respond to various situations and worked through some things I was feeling. I encourage every pregnant woman to consider the importance of mental health in addition to physical health during and after her pregnancy.
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