Things Don’t Always Go As Planned

Baby T’Challa whom we named Jacob was born on November 10th at 1:20 on his on terms. It was my induction date, but Jacob much like his big brother decided that it was his show and that he was in charge. Even though the epidural didn’t work as planned Jacob’s delivery was an amazing experience.

I was excited because for the first time my water broke on its own. Birth is such an amazing experience and with this pregnancy I got to really see what my body could do. I learned a lot about myself and what I could handle.

My husband was away at training, but I was blessed to have my mom and sister-in-law with me. Jacob almost beat my OB/GYN to the big event. The nurses were trying to wait on the doctor and told me not to push. After a couple contractions I told them that I had to push. One of the nurses said “This baby is going to come whether Dr. Uh-mazing is here to catch him or not” and just as she finished her statement Dr. Uh-mazing ran into the room.

I don’t remember how many pushes it took to bring my son into the world, but I do remember being motivated to push harder and longer after each push. I think this motivation was created from a combination of being so ready to hold my son and “oh goodness this  hurts”. “Ring of fire” is definitely a good description of the pain of birth. Jacob cried instantly and then stopped. I was groggy from the Stadol, but I remember the nurses placing him on my chest briefly and telling me that I couldn’t nurse him just yet because he wasn’t breathing as well as they wanting him to and that his heart rate was lower than they wanted. My sis-in-law kept reassuring me that he was okay and I said a quick prayer. A few minutes later the nurses handed me a wailing Jacob who snuggled up next to me and nursed like a champ. When I gazed upon my Jacob I wasn’t stressed about work that needed to be done and assignments that had to be completed. There were no deadlines; just me and my sweet baby Jacob. It’s amazing how little things (and tiny humans)  can make you re-evaluate decisions and change your perspective.

Awesome A and Bunny love their little brother so much. We had to send Awesome A with a picture to school or else he was not leaving his little brother’s side and when he got home from school Jacob got the first hello. His favorite thing to do is to read to Jacob after dinner.

I’d planned a completely different blog post. I’d planned to announce that Baby T’Challa had been born, that we were doing great and adjusting to being a family of five. However, things don’t always go as we plan them. Our sweet baby Jacob died in his sleep November 20, 2016. He was only here for 10 days, but that little boy made some a huge impact on me and this family. After he passed away I considered not returning to blogging, but then realized that writing is like therapy for me and maybe sharing my experiences can be helpful to someone else. So, I’m not going anywhere.

* Thank you to all of my readers how have reached out to me and my family. We appreciate your condolences, every kind word,  every prayer whispered.